A NEW POST!!! (Can you believe it??)

Hey guys!

So I'm back in action!! Yeah.. even though I might not have seemed like I was ever missing... Believe me I was.. I've been really depressed.. I finally figured out why too. Well of course it always comes down to the fact that I am as selfish as can be.. That's really what it was. FOr the past two or three weeks.. I've been completely ignoring God.. I can't even tell you why exactly. Except that I'm an idiot.

Well I guess I can tell you why.. I really don't like myself.. Because of my selfishness and my pride. That is the hardest thing for me to admit too.. And this past couple of weeks.. I've just been so busy.. and just so tired of.. well life. School was stressing the heck out of me, Especially chemistry. Because there are still alot of things about it I don't understand. That is something I hate.. Is not being able to understand things. (I know.. I've got a tough time ahead of me..) There's too many things in this world that are going to be like that.. I know.. but I don't want it to be that way. (And there!! That's my selfishness again.. I think I'm too smart and I should know everything aghhh it's irritating!!)

Ok I'll try to make this more clear.. Practically I think too much.. Mostly about all these stupid problems I have. So instead of talking to God.. I just sat around and made myself depressed by thinking about all of my problems and possible ways of fixing them.. Like I could really do that... GOsh... Haha.. Practically just thinking about how helpless I am. But I didn't think of God once.. Untill last night... I'm such an idiot!! But yeah... I feel a hundred percent better now.. I seriously hadn't been on my knees talking to God in a couple of weeks untill last night.. I can't tell you how... good it felt.. It's almost like my body and mind and soul had been aching for it.. (I'm sure it was lol.) But yeah.. that is the main reason I havn't been posting.. I was too afraid to admit I was depressed.. Cause I didn't want to bring anyone down with me.. And I especially didn't want to ask for help.. Because for SOME reason.. these past two weeks.. I've been thinking that I can handle all this stuff that I can't.. So I didn't ask for help!! BUT I AM BACK NOW!! And I will start posting again.

Ok and before I end this retarded post.. I have a couple of prayer requests. One Bri is moving to California. The last time I talked with her she really wanted to stay here untill she graduated.. So pray for her.. and her family.. THat whatever happens would be God's will.. and that Bri would be able to find some good Christian friends in California.. like the ones she has here... Please pray about that.. Bri... is awesome.. and wow.. it's going to be tough for her.. and probably the rest of her family. And secondly, pray for my sister.. can't give you specifics except that she's kind of down right now herself..

AND AS USUAL!! I love you guys!! SOO MUCH!!!
Sara